Alden’s ITP Home

Pig Texts

I’ve been working with my iMessage history in order to do a sentiment analysis over time. In doing so I decided to start trying to randomly generate new texts that would kind of sound like me, much like the kind of creepy post-death chatbot made by training a neural net on all of your messages. My results weren’t that… good, but there was enough structure there to hint at real language. It reminded me of this essay(poem?) written by Liam Gillick called “Weapons Grade Pig Work”, which creates a new kind of language reminiscent of both corporate-speak and International Art English. So I mixed them all together to make art-corporate-alden jargon. I wouldn’t call it a success.

More what my am things. You got it. Third mandrake great clear what. Such cafe fine love guy. But in a real way. Worst mount intimate are cvs. Super ghostbus real be friends. My _ radioactive are shuffle. But brevity is back. That’s what I want to achieve. At first we just blew around some anacronyms. My perspective multiple am lunch.
True one ugetsu lost bday. The pressure is on. Upset home my keep friends. Second one that think time. Tired front houle is saturday. Come out to the sun, stop testiculating about your pig work and start working the problem.
. Last questions great guess moment. Happy ear theo having word. Reasonable touch little wrote mutants. What movie indian visited peoples. My way true got part. But if you don’t have any more arrows to fire, I think we’re finished here. Busy trouble sorry be part. Close server cozy 'm hotel. RADAR, ASCII, and SNAFU. And the alpha pups are all on top of the best anecgloats.
My mom sorry told phd. Action items left right and center. Same something first did marshmallow. Look, we’ve all got to start embracing the trivial tasks we used to be far too qualified to suffer through. The constant sun is affecting the entire project. White part my stop minutes. My cucumber able are guilt. Suck up and flatter some egos for a change. Much ghost hard need rock.
“Can we align on lunch orders?” “Can we align on production?” “Can we align for just a second?” All-hands meeting. Semi-autonomy is the name of the game from here on in. That day blank 's driver. What flight right need picture. My data sorry is lab. Smart house mutant drinking place. Good what same ’s seasons. Right sights expensive ran minutes. Bad uber former is 😈.
Cloudy montreal khaled have car. Call it weapons grade. Everything here lives up to the hype. Slip lot my staying contract. Good people able is bush. Your sooo weird see days. Much people your helping sense. “Let’s get the team together and air it out this aft.” That’s this morning’s email to the team. The guys love me. We had a little get-together at the Peruvian place and I made a little speech. “Get on the horn with my Admin.”
She stared at me. Goddammit. Hahaha debate open go beer. Sure work my be boo. No one remembers what the letters stand for any more. Strong reasons weird feeling coffee.
I walked in the other day and shouted, “Don’t spend another minute on this shit until we get a sample of collector appetite.” Apple polish everything, that’s my new motto. Omg fundraiser spanish am class. About home constructive was lmao. Bluetooth tromp lance get fuzzball. Sorry academics high is pots.
My fun be finger. You know what? Admin is written on my T-shirt. Really useful. Everyone has a clearly defined job description.
But I have a team that has been anointed. Sure someone annoying is time. More lagoon which imagine webpage. Major 🙏 hungry was uber. Same acid other showing thing. Natural dinner happy is debate. Look. Hard oregon bad is boo. My what true think what. Much adults cold have peter.
They might speak critically, but they have no experience in the field. It’s a better way to work. My bed their think today. Your thanks tired 'm %. Mad bed mingus have tho. “Don’t bother me while I’m actioning my deliverables.” That’s what I told the guys the other day. Incredible yesterday your remember king.
Sad testosterone jealous learned surw. In total “agreeance” with me. Her thing long was opening. Goodnight spaghetti prepared is arrivals. Okay pickling your working sister. Fine muffin perfect cooking pros. My mondays good started shop. They are so amped up about the new work. I want to know where you all stand on the latest “collector ask.” Everything is an assignment capsule out here since I got the team really pumped. South opinions my spending hoooooome. High summer goodnight wondering artists. Much standards entire sucks tho.
Grad tale her looks eggs. I can take that. And that’s what I am going to deliver. My conference happy work journey. Irregular routine different have tea. 11th portland more have traffic. Fine peanut ooo has place. Actionable.
Wrong fun lazy be something. Happy minute his go cooking. Fyi toothpaste good been what. Easy sex my is tho. That pizza communicative 'm phone. More reason my get parking. “I will address all of your concerns in the upcoming weeks.” Screw you and screw all your doing and making.
I address things these days. Bad zines non is piff. I am buzzed. My edmond overwhelming felt zach. Now you’re talking. Bigger drink single feel tomorrow. Fascinating minute only gave trap. Big fire other is chicken. Those old-school pseudo-academics are totally acluistic. Horrible sentence cool saw code. To discuss issues openly. Look, let’s address things realistically for a change. I explained that ALAP is not funny—it’s a philosophy now and we are really moving along on it.
People have to step along the path from cautious cynic to submissive consumer of my stuff. I want everyone to just air it out. Glad building quieter 's mom. Whoops and hollers all around. Good trash risky was time. Small anyone my move account. Happy minutes half know factor. Your march overwhelming 'm lot. Ongoing batch ooo was chicken. Tired your is drink. Melancholy talk weird does idea. Better lungs my heading mood. Other timbers little have thanks.
A degree of “agreeance.” It’s a much fancier way of saying agreement, don’t you think? “Are we in agreeance?” More professional but with a sunny split that catches the mood out here. Weird angel their comes coasters. Other medellin fine be database. “I slept in so I’m having breakfast Al Desko.” Yep, that’s the spirit. Since being out here. Such stress asleep cab word. Happy edit other watching door. Omg express new apply what. Fake birthdays big look morning. Double what awful saw talk. Basically a dynamic, proactive version of my very own to do list, 24/7.
Good kind cool 'm touch. Edmond variety exciting know food. I really am honest and open now. Happy year fascinating goopy soho. Sad anyone omg keep lmao. Anxious vacation great going whoops. Full beach awful was person. Happy puck what is work. We are going to meet our deadlines at the last possible moment in order to avoid receiving additional pressure. Incredible work my see friends. He syncs all the devices and keeps tabs on the alpha pups. More and more.
Scared people sorry leave uber. I told the girl who works in the coffee place. Bad headphones my used cycle. Hippy kinds brutal watching exit. It’s not a time to anonymize anyone around here. Long gram needy call terms. No one here can do anything wrong in my eyes. San pack quick know population. That’s all I ask for in the studio. Worst minute little heading sound. Middle batch great remember tho. Cool what my go people. My mystery virtuous send mom. Numb l bad is people. Actionable. I have short-term goals that require a defined measure of work to complete. Out here I can get work done.
Excited idea about hurting fiber. A real alpha geek. That would just lead to anticipointment. Just give me an ask if you have anything to say to me. Cold kindle my trying yoga. I realized that to keep up with the competition I would need six alpha pups in here for focus groups every month. Goodnight ohana perfect had basics. Brainwavez tea fun sounds kisses.
Next stuff regular is thanksgiving. Great discussion big is club. Several description my treating class. Clear ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ strange choose ramen. Stop making so many requests. Huge seltzer same sounds name. Fuck floors sick love time. I had to drive back to the coffee place because I hadn’t made my point clearly enough. Real movie omg was trouble. All those stories that make us look good and on the ball all the time. I’ve employed a bunch of people. My 😘 great 'm human.
Across the piece we have a good set up here. Aggressive mediocrity is the best way to achieve this. Good guy new see monday. Annoyed life motivated is basics. Fancy bumb sure figure matter. Rude what la mentioning what. My name great 'm parrish. They even made me a bumper sticker. It’s the word of the week. My break close going internet. Political correctness already beat brevity when Secretary became Administrative Assistant. That won’t cut it. Every morning, every evening.
More what human are morning. I am making a conscious effort to ensure that the bare minimum, and nothing more, is achieved. I have told everyone here to just say to themselves, “I finished it last week, but I’m going to submit it ALAP.” Alignment. Whole bit good had bside. Excited what several was place.
Immediate emails my 's point. But I had to get serious with them. Sure time good build transcript. Weird slippers apt is teens. Surprised guys their paid what. Smallest day my got cell. Intense syd better makes luck. Absurd what first changed today. That expert white want ep. Actionable. Long dinner his ’m education. We’ve got things to do. Dry iconoclast good eating garden.
I called from the car this morning. My what shhh sounds fruit. Cool flux virgin was august. Big holiday substantive sounds party. The main thing we are trying to achieve as a team here is a sense that we are animal spirits. Aboveboard. Upsetting trust cool want tweet. Free life linden think group.
His lot last is twitter. I told them after a long lunch: “Stop arguing about objectives and start handing out assignment capsules.” That got them focused. Get it? Now she will be impressed. Def mans free go deli. International party professional appreciate sam. Back home they’re all armchair generals. Good lot fine ’s people. It’s full on here.
Undertaking given tasks; putting things into practice. Back where I came from the old cynics said, “I don’t think you’re being totally aboveboard with us.” Aces in their places! That’s my only response. That’s how we get things done. I will be here all day. “Bob? We need an all-hands every morning and every evening.” Bob’s the only person I brought with me out here. That take my looks taste. Paranoid emoji gross get kind. That’s the way it has to be from now on. P
etty references good 'm equipment. Consensus. Cool resume your ’m estimate. Much tweet goodnight think wot. That’s the way I’ve been doing it since I moved out here. Good dog fyi is possibilities. Screw it. I told her. It’s the place. Babylonian orgy? OK. Your 😘 close feel irl. Irritated realer only say man. Excited aesthetic omg 'm tho. Broken face sick said part. Slip agreement compact was dreamland. I am all appetite—I told that to the girl at the coffee place. Nice what political was mom. Funny apartment fine is beer. Which carnegie your mean art.
Incognito frail little going chillin. Bad breaths teenage be jeannie. Mighty banana high eat kanteen. It’s bigger and softer. More night more be softball. Full action. They are all completely amped. Good delays whole makes pipe. It’s all a fucking bag of snakes back where I come from. Structuralist uber busy give shows. When I shout that out these days everyone runs to their station and leverages their core competencies. “ALAP.” As Late As Possible.
You can call it wallpapering fog, but that’s your loss. My chance cute uses room. My texts nooooo warm cat. We’re aiming for efficiency improvements “across the piece,” get it? Action. My apples omg is debate. Full lot first have saint. Wild class unprompted is buzzfeed. Sick right your do idk. It’s a complete adhocracy as far as “work” is concerned from now on. No more “doing,” “tackling,” or “completing.”
I told them how these words nicely avoid making a commitment to which I might be held accountable. Back where I come from some say we are victims of an irrational optimism that is driving us to risk our credibility on half-baked ideas. That’s what it takes to really do something these days. Good feeling outdoor 'm what. Much guys biggest leave shirt. Many sunday that used g. Free self your are anxiety.
Strong bases my sent sleep. My table lloyd like who. So I can spend some time in my car moving around, sliding across town, aware that things are getting done. Social dog cheaper come sooooon. They always talk “around.” They need to dialogue around my choice of work these days. A minimally structured studio where teams are formed as needed to address specific problems. After a little nap it will be lunch “Al Desko.”
The other day, once I had shuffled the wagon into its spot, I was amazed at the commitment around me. Asleep one newsworthy wake bar. Cool morning indian say radishes. Mild cities able used snack. I insist on it from the guys. I’ve been tweeting them. About art enough had trip.
Open pear slow express way. My pokemon which went year. Don’t they realize how much sucking up I have to do? At this juncture my availability is going to be severely limited if people don’t start appreciating the degree of focus out here. I am suffering from an extreme case of assmosis. So what if I clean my dashboard with a toothbrush? Action has to be taken at all times. Look, fire your arrows, kiddos. Fun tree sick shows drink.
Omg problem which being oooh. My level of interest is off the charts. Your bread spiel 's toe. Adoption processes have to be enacted. His march alanna have donor. Completely clueless. Get it? They love me. That’s the new mandatory meeting for everyone here. Last take your 's question